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ismnotwasm

(41,988 posts)
Fri May 10, 2013, 09:53 PM May 2013

An Open Letter to White Male Comedians


Hey guys*: Listen, I know you're mad at me. I mean, maybe not me specifically, but a figurative "me"—the type of woman who thinks she's funny, who thinks she understands comedy, who has opinions (and shares them) about what kinds of jokes comics "should" or "should not" tell.

I speak up for women, which sometimes involves criticizing men. I don't believe that "rape jokes" should be a completely unregulated market. And I understand that, to you, criticizing a comedian's execution on certain subject matters can seem indistinguishable from censorship and conservatism. So I know you're mad at me and I know why.

But comedy has a serious gender problem, and I really can't stop complaining about it until it's fucking fixed. Comedy clubs are an overtly hostile space for women. Even just presuming we can talk about comedy gets women ripped to shreds by territorial dudes desperate to defend their authority over what's funny. "Jokes" about rape and gendered violence are treated like an inevitability instead of a choice; like they're beyond questioning; like they're somehow equally sacred alongside women's actual humanity and physical sanctity. When women complain, however civilly, they're met with condescension, dismissal, and the tacit (or, often, explicit) message that this is not yours, you are not welcome here. It's fucked up, you guys. And I'm saying that as a friend with the best intentions.


Hey, Men, I'm Funnier Than You
Oh, great! Let's talk some more about how women aren't funny. Science has performed yet… Read…
Comedy has always been my go-to art form—it's been more valuable to me, in terms of emotional solace, than film or music, and it's certainly on par with literature. I know a lot of you can relate to that feeling. That doesn't mean I have the same perspective as, say, a hardened road comic, but I get paid to perform on stages, in various contexts, all the time. I've done stand-up in a brightly-lit pizzeria at 6 pm in front of four people who were not informed that there would be comedy (try it, it's great). I've written a weekly comedy column in the newspaper. Most of my friends are comics (many of them are white males!) and my boyfriend is a comic. But I get that there's no amount of experience that could give me "cred" with every single one of you, and anyway, these goal posts are easy to move—even if I were a full-time comic, you could always say I wasn't "good enough" for my opinion to matter. (Plus, it's no secret that plenty of people don't think female comics count as comics at all.) So fuck it. Whatever. What I'm saying here is that I'm not a fucking tourist. I'm not a bachelorette party. And if you're not performing for people like me—discerning lifelong comedy fans—then I don't know why you're doing comedy at all.

http://jezebel.com/an-open-letter-to-white-male-comedians-497503334
45 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
An Open Letter to White Male Comedians (Original Post) ismnotwasm May 2013 OP
It's a tricky thing BainsBane May 2013 #1
This sums it up ismnotwasm May 2013 #3
Do you find Chris Rock funny when he routinely refers to women as "bitches"? whathehell May 2013 #12
I do find him funny BainsBane May 2013 #19
You don't "remember him referring to women as bitches"? whathehell May 2013 #21
I don't think I've seen his movies BainsBane May 2013 #22
I'm not trying to badger you, but being a big fan, don't whathehell May 2013 #25
Stop badgering her. Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #27
As I've already said, I'm not. whathehell May 2013 #30
You repeatedly questioned her about this, three times to be exact, Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #34
What's wrong with asking three questions about a topic another has brought up? whathehell May 2013 #36
She answered each question, each time, and yet you still carried on. Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #37
Yes, and there's a reason for that and it's not the one your claiming, Sorry. whathehell May 2013 #39
You have richly earned it. Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #40
As have you, and thanks for taking my advice! whathehell May 2013 #44
Thanks BainsBane May 2013 #42
You're welcome. Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #43
I watch what I think is funny BainsBane May 2013 #28
I simply asked you questions about a topic you brought up whathehell May 2013 #29
I resent being called a liar BainsBane May 2013 #33
Since I did not call you a "liar", I resent being lied ABOUT whathehell May 2013 #35
This attitude is why I stopped going to comedy clubs. PDJane May 2013 #2
Some types of comedy seem a lot like bullying. nt redqueen May 2013 #10
Just as an aside GeoWilliam750 May 2013 #4
Thank you ismnotwasm May 2013 #5
I'm happy to read about Kate Smurthwaite. I'm not happy to see whathehell May 2013 #11
They could be funny without being mean. Manifestor_of_Light May 2013 #6
I think some comedians just aren't very good ismnotwasm May 2013 #7
some aren't even superficially funny BainsBane May 2013 #8
Well not to me either ismnotwasm May 2013 #9
I think they don't know how to be funny. Manifestor_of_Light May 2013 #23
exactly. eXACTly. right on. agree. that is the point. that mean humor is just mean, not humor. nt seabeyond May 2013 #24
There are a ton of funny females,too many to name. sufrommich May 2013 #13
+1 redqueen May 2013 #15
God,Wendy McLendon- Covey, I laugh before sufrommich May 2013 #16
I love Melissa McCarthy BainsBane May 2013 #20
I may be wading into a pc storm here, but why is it limited to only "white" male comedians? whathehell May 2013 #14
I think using a framework of her own privilege ismnotwasm May 2013 #17
Okay, I get that, but I can't help but wonder if I'm not seeing some self-imposed whathehell May 2013 #18
Maybe, but I think it's this ismnotwasm May 2013 #26
I agree that white males are the "least systemically oppressed' in this country, at least whathehell May 2013 #31
No, not you personally ismnotwasm May 2013 #32
I'm not sure if I agree with you entirely. whathehell May 2013 #38
Well here is a point of contention ismnotwasm May 2013 #41
I know what you're saying, but I might disagree slightly and here's why: whathehell May 2013 #45

BainsBane

(53,035 posts)
1. It's a tricky thing
Fri May 10, 2013, 09:57 PM
May 2013

You don't want to sanitize humor, but some of it just isn't funny. Chris Rock talks about male female relations and I don't feel offended. Some others just rely so much on racism and sexism that I don't find it one bit funny.

Wanda Sykes is incredibly funny, so screw that about female comedians not rating.

ismnotwasm

(41,988 posts)
3. This sums it up
Fri May 10, 2013, 10:11 PM
May 2013
If you're an able-bodied straight white male, you are by definition a member of the least number of systemically oppressed groups. It takes an entire blog post for me to make you feel diminished and misunderstood (my bad)—but you could do that to me or a gay person or a trans person or a person of color or a disabled person with just a word. Because you get to live your life on the firm ground of being a human being first and a man/white person/comedian second. I don't get to do that. I'm not a person, I'm a woman, which is something I'm reminded of incessantly any time I enter a male-dominated space like a comedy club.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
12. Do you find Chris Rock funny when he routinely refers to women as "bitches"?
Sat May 11, 2013, 09:43 AM
May 2013

Count me out on that one.

BainsBane

(53,035 posts)
19. I do find him funny
Sat May 11, 2013, 03:40 PM
May 2013

I guess I don't recall him referring to women as bitches. I think he makes a lot of insightful commentary about life in general. I love his piece on gun control.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
21. You don't "remember him referring to women as bitches"?
Sat May 11, 2013, 04:31 PM
May 2013

You must be kidding. It's even in his films.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
25. I'm not trying to badger you, but being a big fan, don't
Sun May 12, 2013, 09:01 AM
May 2013

you think you would "know" if you'd seen his movies?






Sheldon Cooper

(3,724 posts)
34. You repeatedly questioned her about this, three times to be exact,
Mon May 13, 2013, 06:40 AM
May 2013

so yes, you are badgering her. Knock it off.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
36. What's wrong with asking three questions about a topic another has brought up?
Mon May 13, 2013, 07:29 AM
May 2013

Until you can anwer that, I'd say you're badgering me, and, btw, who died and left YOU boss?


Go give orders to someone you actually have authority over...Duh.

Sheldon Cooper

(3,724 posts)
37. She answered each question, each time, and yet you still carried on.
Mon May 13, 2013, 07:33 AM
May 2013

You don't have to like her answers, and you clearly didn't, but she answered you. To keep going after her was indeed badgering, and may I remind you that you are the first one to use that specific word. And I'll further remind you that you're in a protected group, and you bullshit is not appreciated here. I am the boss of exactly nothing here, but you would do well to pay attention to what others are seeing.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
39. Yes, and there's a reason for that and it's not the one your claiming, Sorry.
Mon May 13, 2013, 08:22 AM
May 2013

I don't believe it is "badgering" and if you think so, well, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

In addition, I hardly need to be "further" reminded" by you of the status of this forum since

I've been on it, not to mention DU itself, a hell of a lot lot longer than you.

You see, you truly are, as you admit, "the boss of nothing" and that includes becoming the self-appointed

spokesperson of HOF...Sorry, but if I need make it clearer, you do NOT get to speak for everyone on this forum.

Guess what, Sheldon?...There's this feature called "Ignore". If you don't like my posts, feel free to use it on me.

BainsBane

(53,035 posts)
28. I watch what I think is funny
Sun May 12, 2013, 02:16 PM
May 2013

I haven't seen a funny comedy movie made since the 1970s. I don't watch any of them anymore.

I promise not to force you to watch Chris Rock if you stop hassling me about liking him.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
29. I simply asked you questions about a topic you brought up
Sun May 12, 2013, 11:47 PM
May 2013

if you're not prepared to answer credibly, why bring it up in the first place?

BainsBane

(53,035 posts)
33. I resent being called a liar
Mon May 13, 2013, 01:39 AM
May 2013

It really is incredibly nasty of you. You need to find another outlet to vent your hostility rather than dumping on strangers online.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
35. Since I did not call you a "liar", I resent being lied ABOUT
Mon May 13, 2013, 07:24 AM
May 2013

Maybe YOU need to find another "outlet to vent your hostility"

Simple point: This is a discussion board -- if you resent being ASKED about a topic YOU bring up

you should try another hobby. BTW, someone who's had SEVEN messages hidden in the last 90 days

is not exactly in the position to be calling others out for being "nasty".




PDJane

(10,103 posts)
2. This attitude is why I stopped going to comedy clubs.
Fri May 10, 2013, 10:10 PM
May 2013

I felt so uncomfortable that I left once; with a spotlight on me all the way out the door. That, honey, was it.

GeoWilliam750

(2,522 posts)
4. Just as an aside
Fri May 10, 2013, 11:04 PM
May 2013

If you happen to get over to the UK, you may want to go see Kate Smurthwaite. Truly extraordinarily bright and funny, also does political commentary. Left-wing, feminist, and very nice.

Then again, British comedy is probably a bit ahead of the US overall, anyway. I would feel sorry (a little) for anyone who might get into a war of words with her.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
11. I'm happy to read about Kate Smurthwaite. I'm not happy to see
Sat May 11, 2013, 09:41 AM
May 2013

another example of national one upmanship accompanying it:

"Then again, British comedy is probably a bit ahead of the US overall, anyway. I would feel sorry (a little) for anyone who might get into a war of words with her"

Nice to know your opinion, but "sharing" it here seems gratuitous and hardly relevant to the topic.

The Brit/Euro chauvinism on DU, generally, gets very tiring. On a feminist forum, particularly, it seems divisive

and unnecessary.

 

Manifestor_of_Light

(21,046 posts)
6. They could be funny without being mean.
Sat May 11, 2013, 01:28 AM
May 2013

Some of the guys I've seen on Comedy Central do nothing but yammer on about explicit weird sex. In great detail. To me that's gross. And just using bad words is not funny in and of itself. Those words have to have a story and a context.

Phyllis Diller thought she had to make fun of herself. She was a real groundbreaker. It's possible to comment on the stupidity of the world and not be mean or sexist. I've seen Lewis Black. He rants about the stupidity of our culture but doesn't attack individuals. He did say "WHY should I keep up with the Kardashians?" which is a valid question.

And nowadays we have stupid female politicians that are just as stupid as male politicians. I don't think it's sexist to attack a stupid female politician for being stupid.

Tonight Bill Maher went on an extended rant about the stupidity of Michele Bachmann.

ismnotwasm

(41,988 posts)
7. I think some comedians just aren't very good
Sat May 11, 2013, 03:02 AM
May 2013

I mean they're superficially funny, but comedy to me is should be a reflective surface for the rest of us. That's why I love a bit of old school George Carlin or Richard Pryor. They were rude as hell, but it was multidirected and their comedy didn't rely on rudeness or sexism,--- Or any other 'ism', although they made use of it; holding up a comedic mirror. Both these comedians also evolved as their careers progressed. They didn't stay static.

ismnotwasm

(41,988 posts)
9. Well not to me either
Sat May 11, 2013, 03:25 AM
May 2013

I don't watch much comedy anymore either. I quit bothering---don't get me wrong, I love, love a good comedian, I just don't want to endure comedically lazy sexist garbage. I shouldn't have to 'work' for my own entertainment when someone else is the provider.


And I have a very broad and demented sense of humor.

 

Manifestor_of_Light

(21,046 posts)
23. I think they don't know how to be funny.
Sat May 11, 2013, 05:33 PM
May 2013

They seem to think that if they stand up and slam other people and other groups, that will be humor. It's not.

I think Don Rickles should be nuked off the face of the earth. Why anybody listens to him is something I cannot figure out.

sufrommich

(22,871 posts)
13. There are a ton of funny females,too many to name.
Sat May 11, 2013, 09:54 AM
May 2013

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey probably the best known at the moment but there's plenty more.Every female in the movie Bridemaids was hysterically funny in my opinion.

redqueen

(115,103 posts)
15. +1
Sat May 11, 2013, 10:37 AM
May 2013

Joan Rivers, Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho, Kristin Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Wendy McLendon-Covey, Melissa McCarthy and Kerri Kenney are a few of my favorites.

sufrommich

(22,871 posts)
16. God,Wendy McLendon- Covey, I laugh before
Sat May 11, 2013, 11:36 AM
May 2013

she even says anything,she's great. She was great in Reno 911, of course,so was everybody else in that show.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
14. I may be wading into a pc storm here, but why is it limited to only "white" male comedians?
Sat May 11, 2013, 09:58 AM
May 2013

Black male comedians can be extremely sexist. .

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
18. Okay, I get that, but I can't help but wonder if I'm not seeing some self-imposed
Sat May 11, 2013, 02:56 PM
May 2013

Last edited Sun May 12, 2013, 09:10 AM - Edit history (1)

PC avoidance of criticizing Black men for sexism on this thread.

ismnotwasm

(41,988 posts)
26. Maybe, but I think it's this
Sun May 12, 2013, 10:33 AM
May 2013
If you're an able-bodied straight white male, you are by definition a member of the least number of systemically oppressed groups. It takes an entire blog post for me to make you feel diminished and misunderstood (my bad)—but you could do that to me or a gay person or a trans person or a person of color or a disabled person with just a word. Because you get to live your life on the firm ground of being a human being first and a man/white person/comedian second. I don't get to do that. I'm not a person, I'm a woman, which is something I'm reminded of incessantly any time I enter a male-dominated space like a comedy club.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
31. I agree that white males are the "least systemically oppressed' in this country, at least
Mon May 13, 2013, 12:20 AM
May 2013

and when you say "you", I hope you don't mean me personally, as I am also a woman.

My point is, I don't think being a member of one oppressed group gives that person a "pass" to oppress those

in DIFFERENT oppressed groups, i.e. Misogynists of ANY race should be called out for it, just as racists

of any gender or sexual orientation should be called out for THAT. White males may be "on top"

in terms of the overall society, but they can't, in any practical way, be blamed for the racism of many

women, the misogyny expressed by many racial minorities, or the homophobia of men or women of any race.

Everyone should be held accountable for their own attitudes and actions: No one gets a pass.

ismnotwasm

(41,988 posts)
32. No, not you personally
Mon May 13, 2013, 12:38 AM
May 2013

I linked to an article a while back on black comedians-- there's actually a documentary, Ill try to find it.

Recently, Tracy Morgon experienced a walk out of one of his shows by women. (offensiveness galore) but while I agree this is sexist, it's not sexist because he's a black man. Nor does he hold any white privilege. No that doesn't excuse him, and I don't think the author of the original article--a white female comedian would think it does either. She was sticking to what she knows on a particular POV.

This isn't a good link to the Australia story, nor is it from a feminist perspective.

"Let me see what's under the shirt. I dare you."

And she took him up on that dare.

"Oh my god!" Morgan screamed, chivalrously kissing her hand to the sound of raucous laughter and applause, and bunching up his pants to suggest he was aroused. "Milwaukee's the best!"

Then near the end of the set, he called the woman back toward the stage to "show everybody how pretty" her breasts were. She said she'd show the crowd hers . . . if he showed them his first. Thankfully, Morgan did not flash his genitals, and she didn't show us her breasts either . . . although she did flash Morgan one more time, while a guy standing next to her in the front row took a picture. "This is getting crazy," Morgan said. "I'm a (expletive) rock star, man."

If just reading this exchange makes your skin crawl, well, you're not the only one.

About 50 people reportedly walked out of one of Morgan's shows in Australia last month, with a women's rights group there boycotting additional appearances on grounds of misogyny.

There were no mass walk outs Sunday as far as I could tell - although one guy yelled out "I want my money back" during a moment of silence. Morgan's reply: "If you sat here for an hour listening to this (expletive) and said you want your money back, you're a dumb (expletive)."




http://www.jsonline.com/entertainment/musicandnightlife/tracy-morgan-gets-big-laughs--and-some-unexpected-exposure-at-the-pabst-s79qoit-206226321.html?ipad=y


If I'm going to post anything about persons of color, I want it to be from a well-thought out perspective, whether its Beyonce or Tracy Morgan.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
38. I'm not sure if I agree with you entirely.
Mon May 13, 2013, 07:42 AM
May 2013

First of all, I don't think one needs "white privilege" to be held accountable for misogyny, homophobia, or even "racism" of their own.


"If I'm going to post anything about persons of color, I want it to be from a well-thought out perspective, whether its Beyonce or Tracy Morgan".

Roughly speaking, this sounds as if you feel the need to tread VERY carefully regarding ANY criticisms of people of color.

I'm sorry, but I just don't feel that way in regard to all criticisms -- Misogyny is misogyny -- I don't think the color of the person

exercising it matters a great deal..Again, I think that's giving them a "pass", and I find it patronizing, actually.

Secondly, I think my observations are as "well-thought out" as anyone else who's had LOTS of interaction

with people of ALL races and backgrounds.

ismnotwasm

(41,988 posts)
41. Well here is a point of contention
Mon May 13, 2013, 08:40 AM
May 2013

While I agree with you in the aggregate, what you're talking about is 'Standpoint theory' when it comes to reaction of people of color to white criticism. Or white criticism of people of color. This is more complicated than it sounds.

Again, a Tracy Morgon is clearly sexist POS, and that has nothing to do with race.

Standpoint Feminist

Many standpoint feminists now recognise that because of the many differences that divide women it is impossible to claim one single or universal "women’s experience". Because sexism does not occur in a vacuum, it is important to view it in relation to other systems of domination and to analyze how it interacts with racism, homophobia, colonialism, and classism in a "matrix of domination".
Contemporary standpoint feminist theory perceives that it is "a relational standpoint, rather than arising inevitably from the experience of women" (see difference feminism). Standpoint feminists have recently argued that individuals are both oppressed in some situations and in relation to some people while at the same time are privileged in others. Their goal is to situate women and men within multiple systems of domination in a way that is more accurate and more able to confront oppressive power structures. One of the critiques of this stance is that such an intense focus on the many differences between women obliterates the very similarities that might bond women together. If this is that case, trying to create a broad-based feminist community or building consensus on specific policy becomes problematic.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standpoint_feminism


(Not the best article but its very late/early for me.)

Here's an wedding article of all things, that explains a bit;

Being Black, Feminist, Thoroughly Girly, and Conflicted

Angela Davis, bell hooks, and several others have written about the distance between mainstream feminism and women of color in the Women’s Liberation Movement, as the workplace was often touted as a site of liberation and the private home as one of oppression. For many women of color and working class women, the situation was absolutely reversed, since enslavement labor had been the means through which Black women were abused and exploited. So the home and the act of caring for their families domestically was an area in which they could have some measure of autonomy, of escape, of value for them and their families outside of the capital value that they produced.

I think many of the rituals and changes that women are expected to participate in when they get married reveal the same type of tensions. Things that might seem outdated for popular feminism may actually be points of pride for women who have historically been denied access to a certain mode of femininity. If you are a member of a group of women that has been constantly caricatured as mammies and welfare queens, sexually pathologized, and whose inequity has been attributed to broken, abnormal, and matriarchal family structures, then bearing the title of Mrs. and taking your husband’s last name can actually be displays of resistance. If you have grown up seeing constant media reports on the fatherlessness of Black children and the unmarriageability of Black women, then having your father walk you down the aisle and flashing your ring can both be points of pride.

But as a Black feminist Africana Studies scholar who constantly brings the insights of my work into my life, I just don’t get off that easy. I realize the way in which tradition and the politics of respectability have sometimes been a form of self-defense and resistance for Black women, but I also realize that patriarchy within our communities still operates in our lives. What women-of-color feminists advocated was an intersectional politics that could look at race, class, and gender as simultaneously operating forms of denying resources and power to marginalized people. We have to question patriarchy in its institutional operations (family being one of those institutions) and its cultural manifestations, for they are indelibly linked.


http://apracticalwedding.com/2013/05/black-feminist-wedding-planning/

There's a lot more than on this topic, and it's definitely a little sidetracked here. Nor is it limited to black and white peoples. I guess what I was trying to say is, no sexism doesn't get a pass from anybody, but is comedy going to sound exactly the same to a white woman as it is a black women from a shared black experience? That's where caution comes in. Yes I tread carefully. Black feminists have expressed feelings of marginalization, because white is the 'default' norm for race, and black and white women do NOT have shared experiences in everything.

whathehell

(29,067 posts)
45. I know what you're saying, but I might disagree slightly and here's why:
Tue May 14, 2013, 01:26 PM
May 2013

There ARE different reactions -- You can see it on this site, but I don't actually think that race is the major divide.

I've read PLENTY of Black Women disgusted by misogynist slurs coming from anyone of any color. They don't

like the "b word" and some other things they hear. There are also White Women, often young, who call themselves

and other women "bitches", "sluts", and all sorts of ugly gender slurs. After the Michael Richards incident back in

2006 when he went on a shocking tirade, calling a few young hecklers the N-word, Russell Simmons, of all people,

said he'd had an epiphany and was going to STOP "using the N-word AND the B-word". That was awhile ago, and I

don't know if he's kept his promise, but I do think reactions to gender slurs, particularly by women, may differ more

by "class" and level of education than by race.

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