1. We need to recognize that there is no “rule” of who gets targeted.

I mentioned in my post that I don’t dress provocatively at cons, don’t cosplay, tend not to post “sexy” pictures of myself online, and at times during the past 20 years I’ve been overweight–100 pounds, which isn’t a small number. I’ll be 40 in November, so I’m not a young woman. NONE of that has saved me from getting harassed. I pointed out all of those factors, not to say that I shouldn’t have been harassed, as if not being conventionally pretty (aka, having “model good looks) or being a certain age or weight or race makes you unattractive, and therefore safe. No one is automatically safe, which is what I was trying to say.

Here’s why: for every guy that will seek out the thin, busty, woman in the low cut top and tight skirt, with the excuse of “She was asking for it”, there is another guy who will seek out the woman he thinks won’t object. Women who are a little older, a little overweight. The woman who’s standing alone at a party. Those women, this kind of creeper thinks, are more accessible. They must be grateful for the attention.

There’s a third kind, the woman who looks like a victim. That means different things to different men, but some examples are: a woman alone in an elevator, in a hallway, in a dark corner of the room–women in a space where there is no one to help them if they need it. Young girls, women with disabilities, women who are physically small, even women who seem shy or confused about how the hotel is laid out–also potential targets. Women who are in service positions, like dealer’s assistants, who can’t walk away. It all boils to power–some guys get off on forcing themselves on women who (they assume) can’t defend themselves.

The fourth kind, which is rare in terms of physical harassment but commonly verbally harassed, is the woman in power. A writer with a good publishing records. Guests of Honor. Well-known editors. Women who appear physically strong, or who have taken the place of a man on a panel… women signing autographs in the dealer’s room. There’s a kind of guy who resents women having that power, and will make sexist, abusive, derogatory, and sexually suggestive comments as a way to put us “in our place”. We often think of them as trolls, but it’s another side of the same guy. They harass angrily because you’re no longer available to them as a potential date/fuck/target. They harass because they feel their losing what they’re “entitled” to, and they’re afraid.