it's bad enough having family and friends giving their opinions and stuff... it's when complete strangers want to touch your belly or offer up advice. Even when I was on my 3rd pregnancy!

Especially mid-end of my pregnancy.

I retained water and my ankles were very swollen. It was a really uncomfortable feeling, never mind the physical uncomfortableness, but the focus on my freakin ankles! LOL

or in the store with your kids. When my kids throw a fit I feel the stares. Judging. Though I did have cashiers thank me for how I dealt with the kids as far as not giving in and not letting them mess with everything. LOL! I have three kids... I have had LOTS of advice and looks when I was pregnant. And when the kids are having a fit. No matter what you do you can't escape it.

they interacted with strangers, people had fun. the slowing down to the kids pace was the challenging.

i really didnt mind any of it.

my doctor was so easy going and accepting of anything i told him. the babies doctor at 4 months told me, dont listen to everyone else. listen to myself. i know the baby best, i have the answers.

i had people around that allowed me my own identity.

I can't stand family day grocery shopping.

It clogs up the store, where you can barely push the carriage. People treat it like a day at the park, leisurely walking around without a care in the world to anyone around them.

Me, I try to go to grocery stores, during the time of day, when I know the family outing isn't being held there.

When my son was young, one of us went to the store and one stayed home.

(i am teasing and having fun.... i get frustrated? not really, with people that allows kids to run wild). there were anti kid threads a couple years back on du. way back, cause kids were 8 and 10ish. about kids getting in the way of adults, in their world. so, i started getting all over kids ass, if they made the littlest of misstep in the grocery store. being so hyperaware i started noticing the adults inevitably in my way, not moving, taking up the isle and looking at product making me wait or stopping and chatting with someone ignoring others behind. not watching where they were going. rudeness. and inevitably some adult cutting in front of a kid in line and the kid not courageous enough to speak up for himself.

the day i watched one of my sons fling his body up against an isle to ensure he was not in the oncoming adults way.... is the day i told them .... let it go. i had been telling the kids about how the adults saw them, in the way. and make sure they are being considerate. my boys took it to heart.

now, nothing much about the public bothers me. i find mostly the good and fun, and pretty much ignore the irritating.

except slow drivers..... they should get tickets. taken to jail. hang 'em. lol

gotta add in edit though.... i am an isolationist. a very social isolationist, lol. i get along with about everyone. and i dont like to be around people. so when i do go out of the house, it is the opportunity to socialize and then get back to the house.

LOL And, someone would have to be dying to drag me to any busy grocery store during peak hours on the weekends. Maybe they should designate "family time hours"...

and you are not sticking me in that family hour.... lol

If they have an open bar.

now that.... makes shopping fun.

i know everyone in the store. two, three times a week. quarter mile from the house. i might even get 3 samples from them as i wander the store.

LOL

and knowing that people "mean well"--having to pretty much grin and bear it.... I empathize with that woman. Why would one want to open yourself up to that until absolutely necessary.

Yet while there is this societal expectation that pregnant women sort of "belong to all," there seems little outrage when police feel free to tase them. Or that post-natal breast feeding women should be stigmatized or even threatened with arrest for doing so in public...

Our society surely has conflicted views on pregnancy and reproduction.

One of the reasons I chose to not have children is because I couldn't bear the thought of losing "myself" to the role of being a mother.

Yes, I am self centered. And I realize that and own that. I just was not cut out to be a mother.

I feel kind of bad for that person. Your partner doing the bare minimum to be supportive of your feelings during the upheaval of an experience that is pregnancy in our rude, intrusive society isn't an an exceptional act of heroism on his part, it's doing the bare minimum. Not something she should have to be grateful for.

Also--if I ever have a kid, f 'those conversations.' Anyone who tries to start that 'how about your health' crap with me will do so at great risk.

that she is going thru all this and not in the moment and not allowing a lot of fun between her and hubby and others. there is a special and fun in preg. she is fighting it. i get why, and it makes sense. but, it is really ok, too.

sigh....

well, we know

“Do we have to tell people?” the answer to this question. maybe then, she can have fun with it.

Giving up ones' relative privacy and personal "space" is a tough thing to adjust to.... I'm sure there are ways to make it more fun.

I remember a young colleague I worked with, having announced her pregnancy to everyone as "having found she was 'knocked up'".... After I got through wincing at the way in which she chose to reveal her pregnancy, I realized that "having fun with it," was exactly what she intended to do. And, she did.

that i dont think i had that struggle. i had lived my life as i wanted for so long, i was ok with the changes that were happening. new chapter. new experiences.

her lessons will be in the way she does it. that is all. new insight. that is the one thing most all gain in huge life changes, regardless of how one chooses to walk them. so it is never about good/bad, right/wrong.

I could have easily had 5 or so instead of my 2 boys.

I don't know if I have ever been happier in my life than when I was pregnant and then with two little ones. Those times were exciting, invigorating and I don't believe I was ever more content with my life.

a big bottle of tums ever couple weeks. lol

and the really sick thing. once i had the baby, i would miss not having the baby as a part.

odd odd

women like you made my eyes roll....

i say in jest

I had a little evening sickness for two months and that was it. I loved the way my hair shined, my skin was so clear and pretty- I just felt great. I was at the gym until 3 days before I went into labor. I walked the hospital halls while my husband cracked jokes. First labor was 8 hours, the second was 3.

We all experience labor and delivery different. My sis-in-law (we were due at the same time) went through a miserable pregnancy and then 35 hours of absolute hellish delivery. Had her tubes tied as soon as the doc would agree.

Last edited Wed May 30, 2012, 01:51 PM - Edit history (1)

my first almost a month early. water broke at a baseball game hubby was playing in. walking out i had four fields of bleachers standing up applauding me as i walked out.... lol

lordy

Some women don't have many or any issues, glad you didn't . My sister n laws were like that. And after giving birth each of them were like nothing had happened just 12 hours prior.

I was envious of that.