History of Feminism
Related: About this forumAwful Things Women Have To Deal With That Men Don’t
2. Being told youre fat and ugly by the media
Certainly magazines like Details and GQ perpetuate this male body ideal by offering workout tips and putting half-naked muscle men on the cover. However, its nowhere near the body-shaming women have to deal with. Magazines like Cosmo and Vogue tear women down so theyll need their advice to bring them back up. Tabloids run a story about a reality starlet confessing to an eating disorder while posing in a bikini. (No, seriously. This happened when Stephanie Pratt appeared on the cover of Us Weekly in the summer of 2009.) With women, there is a right way to look, a right way to love your boyfriend, a right way to do everything. Men, meanwhile, are much more flexible in their masculinity. They can gain a little weight and it makes them endearing. I can only imagine what it would feel like to see damaging headlines about your gender everyday.
3. Having to deal with the Judd Apatow rules for relationships
In films and TV, we are constantly inundated with these images of a chubby average-looking guy dating a supermodel. This is apparent especially in Judd Apatow films and the latest comedy, The Dilemma in which Kevin James and Vince Vaughn are married to knockouts Winona Ryder and Jennifer Connelly. The inequity in looks isnt what bothers me. Attractive people shouldnt date exclusively attractive people. What does annoy me though is that the roles have never been reversed. What if an actress like Camryn Manheim was paired up with Brad Pitt in a romantic comedy? People would flip their shit. It would be like Shallow Hal version 2.0. These TV shows and movies are just reflections of the male fantasythe idea that the gross guy is able to bag the hottest girl in the roomand its unfortunately become a part of our cultural narrative.
4. Being pitted against your own gender
Men have a healthy sense of competition with one another, but theyre mostly seen as having camaraderie and brotherhood. Fraternities, for example, are viewed as one giant happy family while sororities are perceived as catty and full of backstabbing. Its like women are taught at an early age to go against each other. If their boyfriend cheats on them, theyll misdirect the anger towards the girl and slut-shame her. Thats why Mean Girls was so important. Besides being hilarious, it exposed the bleak reality of girl-on-girl hate thats totally encouraged by misogynistic men. If women are constantly at each others throats, it obviously will prevent them from advancing as a gender. You know whats the grossest though? When self-help garbage like Hes Just Not That Into You and Women Who Love Too Much claim to be progressive and helpful to women, but are actually just as harmful as a book written by Tucker Max.
5. Becoming invisible with age
Its simple. When a woman gets older, shes forced to inject poison in her skin, dye her hair, and do whatever she needs to do to fight the clock. Men, however, can glide gracefully into old age. They get better with each birthday like a bottle of fine wine. Each silver hair speck in their hair makes them seem sexier and mature. We have the term silver fox to reflect this attitude. Can you imagine if it also applied to women? As if. Grey hair is most womens worst nightmare. Both my mother and grandmother have been dyeing their hair for years. But men like George Clooney and Anderson Cooper can embrace their hair color and have it actually enhance their sexiness. Clooney can be cast as a romantic lead when hes 65 and have it be completely believable whereas a womans attractiveness has an expiration date. To put it bluntly, people still want to fuck a 60-year-old man, but not a 60-year-old woman.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/awful-things-women-have-to-deal-with-that-men-dont/
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"They get better with each birthday like a bottle of fine wine." on this point i would say it is what we continually tell men to stroke their ego as they age, but not a reality. old is old for all of us. the men just get to pretend otherwise, is all. the perfect example, lol, this actually being put in this article to reinforce.
i am looking for something specific. have all morning. i am such a poor googler.... but this was a funnish article i ran across. still not what i want
CrispyQ
(36,470 posts)The author certainly makes a great point about Carmyn Manheim & Brad Pitt - although Pitt wouldn't be my first choice as leading man for anything, but I get her drift.
Not sure about this comment in #5: To put it bluntly, people still want to fuck a 60-year-old man, but not a 60-year-old woman.
While I think there is some truth to this comment, when you get to age 70, no one but other 70 & 70+ year old's want to fuck them. Men get a few more years being thought of as sexual beings than women, but eventually in this youth obsessed culture, you become invisible to the younger crowd, no matter how great you take care of yourself. Unless you're loaded . . . that's a whole other thing.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Last edited Wed May 30, 2012, 01:34 PM - Edit history (1)
actually... i just read the title. i would argue that. if a 60 yr old man is getting fucked (besides an equalish age woman in relationship manner) then i would say there is some sort of reward.
i am not one to buy into that old stereotype that men do not equally age.... they do. i might have to edited, cause dont at all agree there.
CrispyQ
(36,470 posts)I remember an episode of "Sex & the City" & Samantha was seeing an older man - 60+. He was very rich & gave her some expensive jewelry, but when it came time to actually fuck him, even Samantha Jones could not deal with his 60 year old body. ~LOL. That's why this part of what you said is key: (besides and equalish age woman in relationship manner).
Ok, I am now at the turn this has all taken. I have to confess that I love "Sex & the City" & Samantha is my fave, but Miranda will frequently say something that is just so spot on that she is a close second.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)when i first moved out on my own, 17-18 ish. i had three men come onto me to be a sugar daddy (what we called them in that time). southern calif, la jolla. i had to really think about if i could do it with a forty'ish-fifty'ish body. trip to hawaii and all.
couldnt see it happening.
that and another event in my life made me consider how i wanted to walk the rest of life. defining moments.
now, of course, i dont see that 40-50 yr old in the same manner, lol.
geez, it just dawned on me i was 17 when graduating so this was putting me right up on 18. living on my own. making these decisions. i have a 17 yr old son.... lol. i couldnt even equate his life to this. he just finished his junior year. but age wise, we were the same.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)MerryBlooms
(11,770 posts)The only win in all that is that we as individuals don't see ourselves in that darkened light. Unfortunately, our individuality never seems to translate into a collective gain.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)go woman.
BlueToTheBone
(3,747 posts)I believe you could benefit from reading the seminal work, "The Great Cosmic Mother - Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth" by Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor. Written in 1987, this book is very relevant today.
Prepare to be astounded, horrified and watch your Self grow as a human. You will have new understanding. I can't say you'll be any less angry, but you'll have a more complete picture.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Last edited Thu May 31, 2012, 07:55 AM - Edit history (1)
thank you for the recommendation. i am reading description on the book.
dont assume.... i am not all that angry, lol. RL isnt what i live on the internet. what my real life is all about is a very peaceful life in stillness. i really do a lot of laughing thru out my day.
i have read a lot and connected to a lot of different readings in this field. but, this book sounds interesting.
thanks.
Evoman
(8,040 posts)But yeah, this article basically has it right.
For the guys, the only thing I would compare to the fat thing, would be being skinny and scrawny. It was hell for me before I put on my 20 pounds of muscle (which I've since lost with the goddamn cancer). Still not as bad as being a fat woman, but hell...ya know how often I see a fat gal with a scrawny guy...all the time!
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)i was concerned because of the whole flip side with oldest son. my youngest son has more of the muscle bulk like the men in my family. my hubby side, they are slim. it does create a whole different set of problems. i have watched son over the years process how to walk thru this, with confidence. he is a runner so he had excellent muscle tone thru that. and has lifted weights. so, though doesnt have the big and bulk, he certainly has defined himself. i cannot get him away from the mirrors, i am telling you.
so funny
and now i have my fourteen year old starting with the hair gel. such a hoot. and so much fun.
i hope you are doing ok. i keep thinking about you....
redqueen
(115,103 posts)Good point, it is the same type of pressure.
Dragonbreathp9d
(2,542 posts)I think one reason a lot of guys are homophobic is because they are now having to deal with something women have been dealing with for centuries- unwanted advances. Now the same douche bags that constantly bug women are now all a quiver over getting hit on by someone they want nothing to do with. Egads!