Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

F4lconF16

(3,747 posts)
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 03:00 PM Jun 2014

I would like to say thank you.

I'm not really sure how to start this, but I wanted to say thank you to all of the regulars here for what you do. Though this is just an internet discussion board, it has real effects on real people, and one of those people is me.

I've been a feminist all my life; my mother was an electrical engineer, a profession that is dominated by men. She raised me to think that there wasn't anything a man could do that a woman couldn't do just as well, and she was a great example. She taught me not to refer to women as girls and not infantalize (pretty sure that's a word, google spellcheck) them. She taught me to look at a woman not as separate from and equal to a man but instead as just another person. She taught me to be aware as much as I could be of my privileges as a man, and to work to help stop discrimination against women. I'm thankful she taught me all of this, and it's something that I will be grateful to her for a long time.

When I began reading DU about a year and a half ago, one of the first groups I homed in on was this one. Something here resonated with me, and I've loved reading the posts and discussions on this board since. I always liked learning from my mother, and this was another place to continue that learning. I have a ton of respect for all of you; I've watched you argue and fight on here every day for the rights of women and equality, and I've learned far more than I imagined I would. I don't post often here; 95% of the time I think I will post something, I instead keep my mouth shut and listen, and I'm glad I have. Some of my views have changed, and I now have ideas and interests that I never used to. You inspired me to become more vocal in my feminism among my friends and with other people I know, and you helped me to talk to and understand my best friend and girlfriend, a woman who has been through hell with an abusive and rapist ex. You already had an incredibly positive effect on my life.

But what I really wanted to thank you for was this: I've been struggling to figure out who I am. A few months ago, I first realized I might be attracted to men as well as women. It was a possibility I simply had never really thought about before, but as I thought about it, I realized it might be true. I had nothing against the idea, but it was a foreign one. The idea of liking a guy was just alien. Since I didn't really understand the feelings, I just kinda discarded them and didn't worry about them. Then, I forget when, but I read something I think either ismnotwasm or seabeyond posted, and it changed my life. It was a pretty simple idea, and I already mentioned it: women are people too. Now, that's something I've known all my life, and it wasn't news to me. But for some reason, when reading that post, I realized that the opposite was true too: so are men. We're all people. Just people. We're all a bunch of humans, and it doesn't make a damn difference whether our genitals are on the inside or the outside or stuck to our foreheads or not there at all. And I realized that I don't care whether someone I love or am attracted to is a man or a woman. If I like them, that's enough for me.

Realizing my bisexuality has been a huge change for me, and I'm still trying to process it. While I haven't talked to many people about it yet because I'm still confused, I'm learning to embrace it. I'm starting to understand myself better, and I'm loving it.

While that one post might not have affected me much, the cumulative effect of all that I read here did. It's changed me forever, and I will be grateful for that as long as I live. Thank you for all you say and do here. Thank you, so much.

-Jeff

40 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I would like to say thank you. (Original Post) F4lconF16 Jun 2014 OP
I'm in love with your post. bravenak Jun 2014 #1
Thanks, Bravenak. F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #3
You post pretty much made my day. So very eloquent, Jeff. Thanks hlthe2b Jun 2014 #2
You're welcome. F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #4
Aren't you the beautiful dude, and thank you. seabeyond Jun 2014 #5
You sound just like my mother! F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #7
Ah ha... seabeyond Jun 2014 #9
Welcome back, Sea! BainsBane Jun 2014 #14
Thank you Baines.... seabeyond Jun 2014 #18
Yeah, I said as much in another thread BainsBane Jun 2014 #19
no fuck for me. only fug... seabeyond Jun 2014 #20
"All this defense of salty language doesn't apply to you, I'm sorry to say." nomorenomore08 Jun 2014 #23
Not even directed at BainsBane Jun 2014 #24
Either way, they suddenly turn into the "schoolmarm" they accuse others of being. n/t nomorenomore08 Jun 2014 #25
No question about it BainsBane Jun 2014 #26
"Feminism allows our boys to define their own masculinity." Yes, and what a great thing that is. nomorenomore08 Jun 2014 #21
That is awesome ismnotwasm Jun 2014 #6
"May all of us continue to learn and grow from one another" F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #8
F4lconF16, Squinch Jun 2014 #10
Thank you, Squinch. F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #28
Fantastic post. Good luck on your journey. riqster Jun 2014 #11
Good luck to you too, and thanks! F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #34
What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing this. TDale313 Jun 2014 #12
You're welcome. Thanks! F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #30
Great post.... daleanime Jun 2014 #13
I hope so! F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #29
Good post Rider3 Jun 2014 #15
This has certainly helped. F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #31
Jeff, Thank you for your post BainsBane Jun 2014 #16
I might at that. F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #32
Thanks. BainsBane Jun 2014 #40
Thank you for posting this. I am a grandmother and it gives me hope for the future. japple Jun 2014 #17
Thank you for your kind words. F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #33
Honey, you just keep your chin up and japple Jun 2014 #38
Great post. You should participate more often here, you're a much needed voice. nomorenomore08 Jun 2014 #22
I skulk around in the shadows a lot. F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #35
What we really need is more "average guys" who aren't afraid of, or hostile to, feminism. nomorenomore08 Jun 2014 #37
Beautiful post wryter2000 Jun 2014 #27
Thank you. F4lconF16 Jun 2014 #36
Excellent. Thank you, for the post! boston bean Jun 2014 #39
 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
5. Aren't you the beautiful dude, and thank you.
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 03:19 PM
Jun 2014

My first voice back after another kick off the board, lol. And it is your welcoming post.

I cannot tell you how awesome your words are.

My 19 yr old son is back visiting. He is really getting close to a young woman going to school. Talking about her and things going on between the two, I was so enthused and excited how verbally expressive he is in his interaction with her.

I said to him... Do you tell Loren that I am the reason he expresses and interacts so well?

Laughingly taking credit for all he is creating. It was a joke.

He laughed and said ... I am at super hero status with Loren.

Feminist allow our boys to define their own masculinity instead of demanding our boys are conditioned by societal definition. I just cannot think how much more healthy our young men are.

An excellent story. I am so glad you shared.

Thank you.

F4lconF16

(3,747 posts)
7. You sound just like my mother!
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 03:27 PM
Jun 2014

I can distinctly recall her telling my girlfriend (coincidentally also a Lauren) that she was the reason for anything good about me

I'm glad to see that you're back, and I'm honored I'm your first post back here. Your words have helped me more than I can describe. Thanks

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
9. Ah ha...
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 03:33 PM
Jun 2014

And you sound just like my son, writing and all.

E? Is that you? Trying to tell me something?

I tease. All in fun. Off to my nap, regardless of newly acquired posting privileges.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
18. Thank you Baines....
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 05:53 PM
Jun 2014

once again.

sigh...

you know what the stalk alerting is for you? people actively looking for that fifth hide. my hides are spread enough. the stalk alerting will begin. only to have a kick off after kick off. regardless if the post warrants it at all. they just need four people that do not like us.

in time, the jury gathered will produce a desired result.

i have read juries, where a jury flat out states that is the intent in the hide.

how dare you post about a soccer game. not even the beck video.

BainsBane

(52,999 posts)
19. Yeah, I said as much in another thread
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 06:16 PM
Jun 2014

Now that I'm down to two hides, I hope their motivation decreases. You will have to be very careful. All this defense of salty langauge doesn't apply to you, I'm sorry to say.

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)
23. "All this defense of salty language doesn't apply to you, I'm sorry to say."
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 07:08 PM
Jun 2014

Funny how people who stick up for all sorts of "bad words" can't handle a little profanity when it's directed at them.

BainsBane

(52,999 posts)
26. No question about it
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 07:16 PM
Jun 2014

Last edited Tue Jun 24, 2014, 08:11 PM - Edit history (1)

Soccer games and talking about racism by cops can trigger similar disapproval.

ismnotwasm

(41,885 posts)
6. That is awesome
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 03:20 PM
Jun 2014

I Suspect there's a bit of bisexuality in every human being, some have very little, some are perfectly balanced with it.

Thank you for your thank you, and may all of us continue to learn and grow from one another.

Squinch

(50,672 posts)
10. F4lconF16,
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 04:07 PM
Jun 2014

This post is beautiful. You have touched me, and I am sure many others, the same way you say that others have touched you.

Blessings to you.

riqster

(13,986 posts)
11. Fantastic post. Good luck on your journey.
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 04:20 PM
Jun 2014

I think that my exposure to feminists and feminism has been a very positive force in my life, too; and I am a male as well.

BainsBane

(52,999 posts)
16. Jeff, Thank you for your post
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 05:34 PM
Jun 2014

and I am glad that you have become more comfortable with who you are. Men indeed are people too. We all are people, and loving one another is a very good thing.

I hope you decide to participate here more often. It sounds like we could learn a lot from you as well.

F4lconF16

(3,747 posts)
32. I might at that.
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 08:52 PM
Jun 2014

While I've learned a lot by listening, maybe it'd be a good time to take another step and start discussing. Thanks for your efforts; I always enjoy your posts.

japple

(9,769 posts)
17. Thank you for posting this. I am a grandmother and it gives me hope for the future.
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 05:35 PM
Jun 2014

And, knowing that there are people like you in this world who are so observant and wise fills me with gratitude. I hope you have a wonderful life.

blockquote] We're all people. Just people. We're all a bunch of humans, and it doesn't make a damn difference whether our genitals are on the inside or the outside or stuck to our foreheads or not there at all. And I realized that I don't care whether someone I love or am attracted to is a man or a woman. If I like them, that's enough for me.

F4lconF16

(3,747 posts)
33. Thank you for your kind words.
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 08:55 PM
Jun 2014

I don't know if I'm too wise though--I think most of my friends would have other things to say about that

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)
37. What we really need is more "average guys" who aren't afraid of, or hostile to, feminism.
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 09:06 PM
Jun 2014

Those who realize that, far from being anti-male, feminism allows us to define masculinity for ourselves, rather than be trapped in outdated "macho" gender roles.

wryter2000

(46,008 posts)
27. Beautiful post
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 07:36 PM
Jun 2014

I completely appreciate all the wonderful men at DU who "get it." Nice to know another one.

Latest Discussions»Alliance Forums»History of Feminism»I would like to say thank...