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ismnotwasm

(42,017 posts)
Sun Aug 10, 2014, 01:54 AM Aug 2014

So I went to a reunion

This is going to be hard to write, and may be long-- But bear with me.

30 years ago a movie was made about the street kids in Seattle. It was entitled "Streetwise"

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streetwise_(1984_film)

Now my time on the street predates that movie by a couple of years. I had children early and was into worse things at the time the movie was made. But my heart was there. My teenage years were there, my innocence was lost there. My sense of how unfair the world could be was there. My feminism was born there. My passion for Gay rights was born there. I knew people in that documentary. I lost almost every one I knew, way too young. The women mentioned who was stabbed? I know her brothers to this day.

I knew (still do) plenty of prostitutes, mostly male but many female. I know what happens on the street and although the clean up centers are much nicer, there seems to to be more resources for those who want help--heroin and meth are more common-- I don't that see much has changed.

What drives a child to the street? That's the first question, kind of like "what drives a person to prostitution?" The first question has a variety of answers, the most common one being abuse of some sort. In the case of prostitution-- it's demand, and a kind of desperate supply, it could be an economic choice, it could be coercion or forced, but the bottom line is male sexual entitlement

My oldest daughters father was turning tricks at 13. It didn't occur to me until years later, that paid or not-- he had been raped by pedophiles. Same thing with a 12 year old named Angie. She was tough, but pulling tricks at 12 is rape. Those are by no means the only examples. Tip on a very deep iceberg actually.

So, the surviving adults from streetwise--not many had been in the documentary, but ALL had been on the street living the life at the time. One woman in particular began gathering the survivors-- I'll tell you right now I didn't think there were any.

We, the ones that lived, here we are, a middle aged group having a fucking picnic, a barbecue, a meeting. 30 year old resentments were buried and there was a lot of laughter. A lot of "remember when" sentences 'Retired' prostitutes and pimps, thieves, people who had done serious time in prison, success 'I made it through all that shit' stories (I'm one of those)

But there were ghosts. So many ghosts-- HIV was called "the Gay disease" when it was called anything-- in the '70's we didn't know anything about it-- just rumors. Then the dying started. And it didn't stop-- not for years.

At the picnic I kept turning my head, hoping to see particular faces, although I knew it was futile. It wasn't just AIDs, it was murder and suicide, and horrible accidents. Serial killers.

Ghosts.

So it was profound and profane at the same time-- it was beautiful.

Don't let anyone tell you prostitution is a fully informed adult choice. It rarely is. It starts young, far too young. It's fed by sickness, and 'I deserve this' need.

We, the survivors are fully aware how lucky we are. We plan on meeting again next year. It's the only 'high school' reunion I'll ever experience. (since I went to a number of high school and was kicked out of one or two-- never did finish-- got my GED) Funny that, I mentioned it in just that way, and so many agreed.

Thanks for listening you guys--I didn't go into particulars-- some of them in my past are ugly indeed but it's something I needed to say. And this is the best place I know for this right here and right now.

And for our stalkers: no I'm not "damaged" I'm a fully-formed self actualized women, in healthy relationships, just one who realizes her past can be useful for others to hear. The damage and the pain are far less than the ghosts of my past. Healing is a incredibly powerful experience.

29 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
So I went to a reunion (Original Post) ismnotwasm Aug 2014 OP
A moving post, Ism BainsBane Aug 2014 #1
I'm in awe. that is one powerful OP. BlancheSplanchnik Aug 2014 #2
I never had the stomach to turn tricks Warpy Aug 2014 #3
Powerful post, ism. brer cat Aug 2014 #4
We, the ones who lived PatrickforO Aug 2014 #5
Indeed. eom littlemissmartypants Aug 2014 #7
You have written a good contribution here. Thank you NBachers Aug 2014 #6
You are beautiful. littlemissmartypants Aug 2014 #8
Thank you for your post ism. lovemydog Aug 2014 #9
Kicked and recommended. Uncle Joe Aug 2014 #10
Thank you for this post. LiberalLoner Aug 2014 #11
Your wisdom, though so hard won, is awe-inspiring. Squinch Aug 2014 #12
Thank you mercuryblues Aug 2014 #13
I can't even formulate words .... etherealtruth Aug 2014 #14
I wish I could rec this 1000 times. BainsBane Aug 2014 #15
You are amazing theHandpuppet Aug 2014 #16
They saved my life, those young men ismnotwasm Aug 2014 #17
You have my deepest respect GeoWilliam750 Aug 2014 #18
Homeless LGBT youth theHandpuppet Aug 2014 #20
A beautiful,profound post,ism. sufrommich Aug 2014 #19
Kicking BainsBane Aug 2014 #21
The world is much, much better off with you in it. I hope you stick around for a very long time. nt Flatulo Aug 2014 #22
I second that opinion - loudly GeoWilliam750 Aug 2014 #24
I ran away from home and was homeless for a while redqueen Aug 2014 #23
"imaginary" BainsBane Aug 2014 #25
You are beautiful, ism.. sheshe2 Aug 2014 #26
thank you for bringing us into yourself. oldandhappy Aug 2014 #27
much respect Kali Aug 2014 #28
Thank you very much Ismnotwasm intaglio Aug 2014 #29

BainsBane

(53,075 posts)
1. A moving post, Ism
Sun Aug 10, 2014, 02:00 AM
Aug 2014

GD could benefit from hearing about your experiences.

I can see why you wouldn't want to post this in there. Hopefully people will read your post here.

Warpy

(111,367 posts)
3. I never had the stomach to turn tricks
Sun Aug 10, 2014, 02:40 AM
Aug 2014

but I knew plenty of both sexes who did. I know one guy who was paying his way through school that way. Most of the others were doing it to buy their smack, and usually smack for their partners. One was fighting her way out; recruited by a sister at 15, she'd started near the top as a high priced call girl. I think she made it, she was a fighter. I hope she made it.

I just remember turning 30, looking around and realizing half my friends were dead and quite a few of the remainder were in prison, usually on drug charges but occasionally on petty theft charges. It was incredibly sad, that sort of thing isn't supposed to start happening until we're in retirement and friends start dying off.

I wouldn't give up those years for all Cheney's ill gotten money, those desperate and often hilarious people taught me so much.

brer cat

(24,623 posts)
4. Powerful post, ism.
Sun Aug 10, 2014, 03:38 AM
Aug 2014

One of my best friends growing up started turning tricks after high school and was found murdered in a dive at age 19. What an incredible waste. He was beautiful and so smart. I have asked myself "why" a million times.

You have had an incredible journey so far, and I appreciate that you are sharing some of it with us. K&R

PatrickforO

(14,593 posts)
5. We, the ones who lived
Sun Aug 10, 2014, 04:12 AM
Aug 2014

It is sad to see how brutal we are to our poor, our homeless, our single mothers. Glad you survived.

mercuryblues

(14,547 posts)
13. Thank you
Sun Aug 10, 2014, 09:32 AM
Aug 2014

for sharing your story. Prostitution is not an informed choice. It is a forced only choice.

The fact that *some* here are supporting legalizing it, despite the data that shows legalization spreads the seedy underbelly further is disgusting. The unknown victims are mere objects to be ignored, so the penis can enjoy what it wants without a care. Child victimization is no more than collateral damage to them. As long as the John gets what he wants everyone else can just go away and STFU. But of course as Bain pointed out, they do not want prostitution in their picket fence neighborhood.

etherealtruth

(22,165 posts)
14. I can't even formulate words ....
Sun Aug 10, 2014, 12:31 PM
Aug 2014

I can barely see the screen through my tears.

I am so sorry for all that you have endured .... for all those that have had to endure ... I am so sorry

theHandpuppet

(19,964 posts)
16. You are amazing
Mon Aug 11, 2014, 06:25 AM
Aug 2014

I have a new hero today.

Everything you've shared is so important though I'd like to elaborate a bit on one aspect of your story -- children on the streets who were victims of abuse at home and in particular, LGBT youth. Homelessness among LGBT youngsters is epidemic and many of them suffered abuse at home before being tossed into the streets where they are vulnerable to further abuse, alcohol and drug problems, prostitution, STDs, rape, et al. Everyone can help by bringing this issue to light as it is basically ignored because these children aren't valued, not by their families nor by society.

Here are some of the posts on this subject, with stats and information:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/113734602
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x148335
http://www.democraticunderground.com/113739011

Thank you again SO MUCH for sharing your story.

Edited to add: A link to one of your threads which tells the story of one such young man. I remember it well.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/113737582

ismnotwasm

(42,017 posts)
17. They saved my life, those young men
Mon Aug 11, 2014, 09:01 AM
Aug 2014

The first time I ever put a needle in my arm I got a lecture you wouldn't believe. They guided me away from the worst aspects of the street, I remember a young Gay couple using a knife defending me from a couple a pimps, who thought I was free game because I wasn't 'working'
The stories, the family rejection, the rapes and abuse at home, the things that drove them to the street are horrific. They had no were else to go. The lucky ones would find a decent minded sugerdaddy who would care for them a while.

In those days, as I said it was right before HIV, actually it was among us, but we didn't know-- we were so ignorant, we knew nothing. There is a gay poster here who is often very angry-- I want to ask him if he survived that time, because the loss was staggering, and I've I had lost nearly everyone I loved or knew I'd be pissed too. That it continues to happen makes me sick.

GeoWilliam750

(2,522 posts)
18. You have my deepest respect
Mon Aug 11, 2014, 04:59 PM
Aug 2014

Thank you very much for climbing out, and thank you for making the world a better place.

And thank you for sharing your stories and views here - we are all better for it.

 

Flatulo

(5,005 posts)
22. The world is much, much better off with you in it. I hope you stick around for a very long time. nt
Sat Aug 23, 2014, 03:02 AM
Aug 2014

redqueen

(115,103 posts)
23. I ran away from home and was homeless for a while
Sat Aug 23, 2014, 11:04 AM
Aug 2014

I'm not going into details, but ... yeah.

It turns my stomach that so many here so easily write any non-privileged women and children off as collateral damage in their quest to make privileged prostitutes' and men's lives more comfortable.

BainsBane

(53,075 posts)
25. "imaginary"
Sun Aug 24, 2014, 11:48 PM
Aug 2014

collateral damage, as one poster said in an OP mocking mine. All the people I've pointed to this OP, not one will comment on it or even acknowledge it. People like Ism's friends are too insignificant for them to concern themselves with. Injustice triumphs because too many justify anything that benefits themselves and are all too willing to ignore the lives of others.

oldandhappy

(6,719 posts)
27. thank you for bringing us into yourself.
Mon Aug 25, 2014, 12:22 AM
Aug 2014

This was not easy to say. It was not easy to read. And I am grateful to you for your power.

intaglio

(8,170 posts)
29. Thank you very much Ismnotwasm
Mon Aug 25, 2014, 06:15 AM
Aug 2014

I could come out with a host of platitudes but they would hide the most important thing - you are here to tell us about this clearly and openly. You tell us all that your past has not limited you.

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