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sufrommich

(22,871 posts)
Mon Sep 8, 2014, 09:34 AM Sep 2014

10 common comments on feminist blogposts

‘Well done. You have identified a problem that had been identified a million times. Now what is your solution?’

I feel awful for foisting another article about sexism on this poor beleaguered reader. As tough as it is for him to keep reading about it though, he might want to stop to consider what it’s like to live with it day-in, day-out. Sure, articles highlighting a problem aren’t necessarily a solution in themselves. But when I first started Everyday Sexism, I met the same response again and again: “sexism doesn’t exist any more”. It’s impossible to begin to tackle something without first raising awareness that the problem exists.




‘Why are you whining about this when there are more important things in the world?’

It’s amazing how this criticism is so rarely levelled at football writers, say, or people writing lighthearted pieces about DIY or dogwalking. Curiously, in fact, it’s almost exclusively women who are policed with the shouts of “it’s worse elsewhere so think yourself lucky”. The existence of rape and other forms of sexual violence don’t invalidate the experiences of those who are discriminated against in the workplace or harassed in the street; nobody tells the police to stop investigating fraud until they’ve solved every murder. The presumption that women in the UK have nothing to complain about is simply false: 85,000 women are raped in the UK every year and over 400,000 sexually assaulted. An average of more than two women are killed by a current or former partner every week. And perhaps most importantly of all, this argument fails to see the links between these different forms of oppression and violence. If we aren’t allowed to challenge the more “minor” forms of harassment and discrimination, we set a precedent for the treatment of women as second-class citizens that has a direct impact on the more serious crimes.




‘If any man tries to grope me, they’ll get a foot slammed somewhere they really don’t want it to be’

I understand the impulse to comment on an article about harassment or groping with suggested reactions, I really do. It’s frustrating to read about people experiencing abuse and it’s a natural human response to offer advice. But these comments utterly fail to recognise the emotional and physical impact of being accosted or assaulted. Time and again, victims report feeling paralysed by shock or fear. By suggesting how women should react, you are (however unintentionally) implicating them in their own assault. More importantly still, focusing on responses fails to put the blame squarely where it really belongs – with the perpetrator.





We can all say “men should not do that in the first place” but this is the same as me leaving my car door open with keys in it and saying “people should not rob”’

No, it’s not. First, there is no good way to avoid assault – 90% of rapists are known to their victims, so those old chestnuts about not wearing short skirts, or going out late at night are nonsense. Second, we have to tackle perpetrators, not tell victims how to behave. Third, it’s incredibly insulting to the vast majority of men to suggest that they are inherently savage and will always attack women given an opportunity. Why should we let perpetrators off the hook “because biology”?




There's more but I was limited by the 4 paragraph rule:






http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/sep/04/10-comment-comments-feminist-blogposts-responses-sexism-

16 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
10 common comments on feminist blogposts (Original Post) sufrommich Sep 2014 OP
Rec'd gollygee Sep 2014 #1
Way too common! Phentex Sep 2014 #2
Post removed Post removed Sep 2014 #3
lol Sheldon Cooper Sep 2014 #4
Thankfully, escorted to the virtual door. (Will be back though.) freshwest Sep 2014 #7
If any man tries to grope me... Ratty Sep 2014 #5
This ... 1StrongBlackMan Sep 2014 #6
It was hard to choose which statements merited the sufrommich Sep 2014 #8
I know ... 1StrongBlackMan Sep 2014 #10
Which is why I always look forward sufrommich Sep 2014 #11
Since sexists believe each gender has immutable characteristics treestar Sep 2014 #16
Anyone, male or female, who is a feminist Greybnk48 Sep 2014 #9
Yep.I agree. nt sufrommich Sep 2014 #12
Kick & very highly recommended. And the troll is gone, at least this one. William769 Sep 2014 #13
Excellent, read the entire article. Definitely worth the time. mountain grammy Sep 2014 #14
Oh yes ismnotwasm Sep 2014 #15

Phentex

(16,334 posts)
2. Way too common!
Mon Sep 8, 2014, 11:02 AM
Sep 2014

We had a thread like this not too long ago and I think every one of these was on our list!

Response to sufrommich (Original post)

Ratty

(2,100 posts)
5. If any man tries to grope me...
Mon Sep 8, 2014, 12:30 PM
Sep 2014

This one has always annoyed me. I remember reading about one feminist writer - I *think* it was Andrea Dworkin but please correct me if I'm wrong - opining that women should learn to be assertive, stand up for themselves, say no forcefully and, yes, kick a man in the balls if they have to. She practically said that sexism would no longer be an issue if all women learned to act this way. And I was just struck by the sheer ignorance of this "notable" feminist. Did she not realize that not every woman is just like her, nor should they be? Many women are fearful and often traumatized by such events because that is their basic nature, as it is with many men. Not every woman can be a self-confident, assertive, fearless, physically adept Amazon as I imagine Dworkin thought herself to be. Not to mention not every women can afford to lose a job and feel confident in finding a new one as I'm certain Dworkin was able to.

 

1StrongBlackMan

(31,849 posts)
6. This ...
Mon Sep 8, 2014, 12:32 PM
Sep 2014
I don’t think demonising all men is going to help’

It’s amazing how quick some men (yes, #notALLmen, don’t panic) can be to jump to the conclusion that any article describing the actions of a minority must somehow be attacking them. It’s not. But by jumping in to shout that not all men are like those described, you are becoming part of the problem. It’s this kind of defensive response that makes it so hard to speak out about sexism. One great way to make the point that “not all men” are sexist is to get involved in taking a stand – you can start by not derailing articles about the problem.


I'm disappointed this point didn't make the 4 paragraph cut! Though, I understand way it didn't ... it was later in the article ... yeah, let's go with that!

treestar

(82,383 posts)
16. Since sexists believe each gender has immutable characteristics
Thu Sep 11, 2014, 11:39 AM
Sep 2014

They are projecting. "Women" to them are a group of people who are all the same. So they project and believe anyone talking about what some men are doing must be saying it of "men" another monolith.

Greybnk48

(10,168 posts)
9. Anyone, male or female, who is a feminist
Mon Sep 8, 2014, 12:38 PM
Sep 2014

has heard most of this before. I love her responses; she hits the mark every time.

ismnotwasm

(41,989 posts)
15. Oh yes
Tue Sep 9, 2014, 07:14 PM
Sep 2014

I don't post much on feminist activism here--because I don't mind the idiots who think it's the equivalent of a unicorn. I'll just keep on going out there and changing the world and leave the dinosaurs to their fate.

It is interesting those who either can't, won't or are in denial about gender issues and cause and effect.

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