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YoungDemCA

(5,714 posts)
Sat Jun 13, 2015, 01:02 PM Jun 2015

"Stop complaining, Western women - you could be living in Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia!"

Am I the only one who finds this talking point utterly insulting and offensive? Not only does it denigrate Western women for "complaining" because they allegedly "have it so good" ( ), but the unstated assumption is that women in Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia (or other countries that are all lumped in under the same helpless, "backward", "Third World" banner) are, by definition, victims of their own culture - but not Western women, because Western society is oh so benevolent. Gross.

It's like those who tell poor people in America to shut up because they (supposedly) "have it so good" compared to poor people in other parts of the world. Apparently people should stop speaking out against privilege and inequality in America because somewhere in the world, someone else has it worse. Excuse me, but fuck. That.

18 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
"Stop complaining, Western women - you could be living in Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia!" (Original Post) YoungDemCA Jun 2015 OP
I agree. SamKnause Jun 2015 #1
Not a specific quote, but a paraphrase of a common talking point YoungDemCA Jun 2015 #2
I have heard that phrase used many times. SamKnause Jun 2015 #4
Other people have it worse, therefore your complaints are invalid. eppur_se_muova Jun 2015 #3
I've had it happen to me here. JTFrog Jun 2015 #5
This has become a major peeve of mine online and in real life... Phentex Jun 2015 #11
It's a common square on the bingo card. Starry Messenger Jun 2015 #6
Since half the population is female, that's showing epic levels of ignorance. n/t freshwest Jun 2015 #17
It smacks of... awoke_in_2003 Jun 2015 #7
It IS offensive. Period. Lilith Rising Jun 2015 #8
Classic RW talking point - they use the very same thing toward LGBTers, the poor, etc. bullwinkle428 Jun 2015 #9
No, you are definitely not the only one etherealtruth Jun 2015 #10
Your not the only one.. AuntPatsy Jun 2015 #12
see also "first world problems" nt geek tragedy Jun 2015 #13
Annoying, a real conversation stopper. betsuni Jun 2015 #14
Thank YOU! smirkymonkey Jun 2015 #15
NOT complaining leads to oppressive cultures such as cited. I'm unwilling to sit down and shut up. freshwest Jun 2015 #16
It is offensive gollygee Jun 2015 #18
 

YoungDemCA

(5,714 posts)
2. Not a specific quote, but a paraphrase of a common talking point
Sat Jun 13, 2015, 01:24 PM
Jun 2015

Sorry if I gave the impression otherwise.

SamKnause

(13,107 posts)
4. I have heard that phrase used many times.
Sat Jun 13, 2015, 01:51 PM
Jun 2015

It is as stupid as stating most people in the U.S. have

refrigerators.

Fox 'News' came out with some kind of report stating the poor

in the U.S. have it so good because they have refrigerators,

microwaves, and TVs.

The rich want us to be their unpaid slaves and live in mud huts.

(A Republican actually said he doesn't believe in retirement.

It is not mentioned in the Bible and Noah started building the ark

when he was 600.)

I am serious, a Republican actually said this.

 

JTFrog

(14,274 posts)
5. I've had it happen to me here.
Sat Jun 13, 2015, 02:13 PM
Jun 2015

My experiences reduced to "first world problems".

Don't want to relive all that, so I'll just say that it's incredibly painful to be so casually dismissed.



Phentex

(16,334 posts)
11. This has become a major peeve of mine online and in real life...
Mon Jun 15, 2015, 10:43 AM
Jun 2015

It IS dismissive when someone says it because they think I can't distinguish the fact that some problems are more serious than others. Others have retorted that they are able to think about more than one thing at a time. Sometimes people online are just venting. They aren't implying that what they are talking about is more important than hunger or poverty or war. I find it to be a nasty response.

I had someone in real life say this to me and it wasn't even about me. It was about something I told her about. You feel like you can't say anything at all. Like excuse me for bothering you with this conversation.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

Starry Messenger

(32,342 posts)
6. It's a common square on the bingo card.
Sat Jun 13, 2015, 06:26 PM
Jun 2015

It just goes to show that they don't really pay attention to the problems that women have in this country.

 

awoke_in_2003

(34,582 posts)
7. It smacks of...
Sat Jun 13, 2015, 07:12 PM
Jun 2015

"Sit down and shut up- we'll think for you". If the right had there way, they would make this country just like Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia in relation to women.

betsuni

(25,537 posts)
14. Annoying, a real conversation stopper.
Wed Jun 17, 2015, 08:28 PM
Jun 2015

Even when it's used like this:
A: "The humidity is the worst thing about summers here, it's terrible."
B: "Well, it's lucky you don't live in Bangkok -- that's humidity."
So what am I supposed to say? I feel stupid and the conversation ends there. What's the point? We shouldn't discuss anything because it's always worse somewhere else?

Also, accusations that because you are only talking about topic A right now you are a bad person who doesn't care about topics B, C, and D. Does everything we say need a preface listing all our opinions about everything in the world? Why do people like that accuse you of hating dogs because you say you love cats?

And I hate the "If you go looking for something to be offended about, you'll find it" thing. What the hell does that even mean?

freshwest

(53,661 posts)
16. NOT complaining leads to oppressive cultures such as cited. I'm unwilling to sit down and shut up.
Sun Jun 21, 2015, 06:33 PM
Jun 2015

And if we don't sit down and shut up as told, what's next? Flogging? Stoning?

Unable to say 'No' to rape, kept barefoot and pregnant and forced marriage? No more education?

No job? No vote?

Not much being offered there but a veiled warning...

gollygee

(22,336 posts)
18. It is offensive
Mon Jun 22, 2015, 10:54 AM
Jun 2015

Why should that be the standard to be measured against? We aren't likely to be victims of honor killings, so anything else is fair game? No.

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