She hid it from her mother. She didn't hide it from the rest of the world because her husband rarely let her leave their home. She had a police report about him choking her and she still denied that he hurt her. Part of her was afraid to tell anyone because she didn't think anyone would believe her because her husband was articulate and charming and would only deny it. She was afraid of making any mistake for fear of retribution.

She left him several times and returned. When she came to our law firm, she successfully didn't return to him and started a new life. She had our help, her mother's help, and a variety of DV counselors. She is a very brave woman and is divorced from her abuser.

and I am so glad that you and your firm were able to help her. My goodness it is so hard for women to get away. And so hard for them to believe in themselves after being abused.

Thank you for helping her!

I wish to thank everyone who reads these boards who help women in these situations (that sadly are not that uncommon), you are making the world better person by person.

because they blame themselves for 'making him do it'.

They believe the woman to be weak and accepting of the violence, so she stays. And therefore she deserves what she gets.

They can't wrap their mind around the fear of it. Or that the abuser has separated you from any support system, except themselves.

And now it's becoming popular to erase the very concept of even being a victim. Even speaking about any kind of abuse brings on this new 'don't be a victim' / 'don't wallow' kind of abuse. More madness.

It does kind of explain why things are still this bad, though.

CP was trying to adopt her children because she was a victim of domestic violence. They refused to recognize that she got away, she got help, and was ready to have her kids returned. They said "Once a victim, always a victim". And this is with Domestic Violence Protocols that they were mandated to use before they took away children.

BTW, got the kids back and it's been one week since they were returned to her.

But there is a crystal clear example, right there.

your other friends. "I'd rather do something just with you." And then they start noticing your other friends are dumb or ugly and why would you, a beautiful smart person, want to be with them when you could be with me?

When you are isolated, they start over reacting to minor things. You may have forgotten to do something, or something didn't work right, or you were tired, or you looked at someone else, or you expected them to do what they said they were going to do when all they wanted to do was relax after such a tiring hard week.

And you are shocked. Appalled. Embarrassed. And they are shocked. Appalled. Apologetic.

And it happens again, easier for them the next time.

And you are shocked. Appalled. Embarrassed.

Listen to your sisters. Look at your sisters. Talk with your sisters. Because chances are some of them are there. I was.

you are so right.