How two billionaires turned out so differently (Long)

(I sincerely apologize for the length. I wouldn't post this if I didn't think it was important. I’d wanted to include excerpts from books, but you can see this was getting out of hand. My sources are at the bottom of this post.)

Mike Bloomberg grew up in a lower middle class Jewish family—a loving family where both parents were fully present and encouraged his exploration of things he was interested in.

His mother was a constant presence in his life.

His parents loved him.

Trump’s father Fred was an intolerant disciplinarian and his mother was virtually unseen except at meals.

Michael Bloomberg’s father was a soft, gentle man. His mother was stricter, but they were both affectionate. On weekends, his father would take Mike to his favorite place, the Science Museum. Harmless mischief wasn’t punished in the Bloomberg household.

Trump’s mother was an unseen presence he later mythologized into an angel. Not much is known about her even by his most meticulous biographers. Her job was to do what Fred told her to do and stay out of the way. Fred apparently didn’t want a woman to influence his sons, thinking it would make them soft. When asked about his mother, Trump gets tongue-tied and eventually produces some platitudes, not because he's overcome with emotion. The real reason he can’t describe her is because he barely knew her.

Bloomberg’s parents encouraged his interests. Mike had a sense of humor and pursued his interests in science and debating. Some of his classmates considered him arrogant but others said he was just smart. His grades were mediocre. He went to the best college that accepted him. That was okay with his parents.

Trump’s father ordered Donald to be interested in the same things he was interested in.

Tension was so high in the Trump household that Donald’s older brother Fred Jr. estranged himself from the family and began to drink heavily. (Fred Jr. died at the age of 43 from alcoholism.) Any infraction was punished. Donald Trump was sent away at the age of 13 to a military academy for behavior most parents would consider normal acting-out and testing of child-parent boundaries.

Bloomberg’s Parents to Mike: The world is a basically a benevolent place. We are a blessed family. We're never going to tell you what to do with your life. Let your curiosity guide you and your life will unfold.

Fred Trump: The world is a hostile environment. Even the guy you think is your loyal friend will eventually cut your throat. I don’t care what your interests are. Now that your older brother has shown himself to be a disloyal failure, you are going to work for me. In a sense we’re competitors, though, so you’ll never be as good as me.

In this suffocating atmosphere, Donald Trump coped with anxiety by developing an arsenal of defense mechanisms to avoid emotions like shame and embarrassment, feelings he refused to tolerate.

Whereas Mike Bloomberg evolved into a fully-developed human being, the Trump we know is essentially an assemblage of defense mechanisms. They served him when he was a teenager. In fact, he needed them to survive. But he refused or was unable to abandon them and evolve as he grew older. That is still who he is.

Mike Bloomberg has an actual work ethic; Trump wants the world to believe he works hard. Bloomberg could concentrate sixteen hours a day six or seven days a week while developing the Bloomberg Terminal. Trump can’t concentrate for 15 seconds because he’s in fight or flight mode all the time, on the lookout for any slight or perceived threats.

You’ve probably noticed something about Donald Trump: He has no sense of humor, probably because he sees almost every encounter as a threatening contest that can have only a winner and a loser. Mike Bloomberg has a good sense of humor; in fact, it’s gotten him into trouble. He is not threatened by people who know more than him; he appreciates their expertise and hires them.

In Summary

Trump: I had to fight for everything I have. The world is against me but I’ll show them.

Bloomberg: Thankfully, this country’s been good to me. Because of that, I have an obligation to do a lot of good and help a lot of people. I'm the one who is blessed by being able to give.

The Fruits of the Tree

This story isn’t over until you examine their children.

The Bloombergs had two amazing daughters who are also philanthropists. Neither seeks the limelight.

The dysfunction of Trump’s children couldn’t be more obvious. Trump did to his sons exactly what Fred did to him. Ivanka I can’t explain yet. This dysfunction is apparent even to Melania, who we are told labors to keep Barron compartmentalized from his father’s influence. This is why Trump sometimes slips and refers to Barron as “Melania’s.”

Last Word

“Nobody calls me Donald. It’s Mr. Trump. Even my accountant who’s been with me thirty years doesn’t dare call me that. If you do that again, you’re fired.”

“Please call me Mike. You know the kid we hired this morning in the mail room; even he calls me Mike. Nobody calls me Mr. Bloomberg except maybe the reporter who writes my obituary.”

There’s so much more to say about this, but that’s the best I can do for now.

Sources:

The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump, revised and expanded edition, edited by Bandy X. Lee

Dangerous Charisma: The Political Psychology of Donald Trump and His Followers, by Dr. Jerrold Post and Stephanie Doucette

The Many Lives of Michael Bloomberg, by Eleanor Randolph

Some facts cross-checked on Wikepedia