red dog 1
red dog 1's JournalAnother blond joke
A blond was given a cell phone from her boyfriend as a birthday present
The next day, he calls her and asks her how she liked her birthday present.
"Oh I love it," the blond says, "It fits right in my purse, and your voice sounds so clear,
but how did you know I was at Walmart?"
A rabbi walks into a bar
A rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder, and the bartender says, "Where'd you get him?"
The frog answers, "Brooklyn..There's hundreds of them."
Guy Walks Into a Bar
A guy walks into a bar and sits at a table, tells the waitress "I'll have a Bloody Mary and a menu."
When she returns with his drink, he asks "Still servin' breakfast?" When she says "Yes" he replies "Then I'll have two eggs - runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon,
well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee."
Indignantly the waitress says "We don't serve that kinda stuff in here."
Guy says, "Funny..that's what I had in here yesterday."
Irish Joke
Milo says to Paddy,
"Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. the whole street was watching
and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy replies:
"Well, the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even home yesterday."
The Deaf Wife Problem (Joke)
Ed feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.
The doctor told him there was a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
"Here's what you do," said the doctor, "Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
That evening, his wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den.
He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
Then, in a normal tone, he asks "Honey, what's for dinner?"
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife, and repeats:
"Peg, what's for dinner?"
Still no response.
Next, he moves into the dining room, where he's about 20 feet from his wife, and asks
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response.
So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her, "Peg, what's for dinner?"
"For God's sake Ed, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN."
The Little Girl and the Construction Crew
A young girl was looking out the window at the construction crew who were beginning to build a house on the empty lot next door.
She watched with amazement as they poured the cement for the foundation and decided to go outside to get a better view.
The construction workers waved to her, and she waved back.
Soon she was talking to them and asking questions about the work they were doing.
They enjoyed talking to her as much as she enjoyed talking to them.
After a while, they gave her little jobs to do around the site.
At the end of the week, they gave her a check for the work she had done.
When she showed the check to her mother, her mother suggested that she take the check to the bank and open her own account.
At the bank, she proudly handed the check to the teller.
The teller asked her where she had gotten the check from, and she told the teller that she had been helping the men building the house next door.
"Oh my," the teller replied, "Will you be helping them again?"
"Yes," the little girl replied, "As soon as the assholes from Home Depot deliver the fucking sheet rock."
Politico's Poll Showing Democrats In Trouble This Midterm Election is a Total Crock
Source:
Politicususa.com
By Justin Baragona
May 19, 2014
This week, political news site Politico released a poll showing that Democrats are at a seven-point disadvantage against Republicans in the upcoming midterm elections.
The poll is supposed to reflect voter sentiments in the most competitive House and Senate races this year.
For the House races. the poll shows that Democrats trail Republicans by 9 points. 39%-30%.
As for the Senate, Republicans hold a seven-point advantage, 43%-36%.
This poll seems to predict a gloomy outcome for the Democrats in November.
It is certainly possible that Republicans can gain control of the Senate and retain their majority in the House.
However, this poll is s total crock.
It is always important to look into the methodology used by a poll to see how credible it is.
In this instance, the poll was tilted heavily in Republicans' favor from the outset, creating the results that we see.
The claim of the poll is to show "competitive" House and Senate races, so the interviewees were only from those areas.
Yet the poll shows that 39% of the respondents are Republicans, 34% stated that they're Democrats....Only 26% identified as Independents.
Compare this with the country at large, where 31% identify as registered with the Democratic Party, 25% identify as Republican, and 42% claim to be Independents.
Read more:
http://www.politicususa.com/2014/05/19/politicos-poll-showing-democrats-trouble-midterm-election-total-crock.html
7 Things About the Inevitability of Hillary Clinton You Probably Haven't Thought About
AlterNet
May 7, 2014
By Guy Saperstein
"In December, 2007, just as the 2008 presidential primaries were beginning to heat up, and with Hillary Clinton 26 points ahead in national polling of Democrats, I wrote an article for AlterNet arguing that she was beatable, that she had vulnerabilities the other candidates did not have, that she had historically high 'unfavorables,' that she polled poorly against Republicans and that Democrats should rethink the "inevitability" of her candidacy.
Apparently, they did, and we know how that turned out.
Once again, Clinton is riding high in polling of Democrats; once again, her supporters are claiming she is "inevitable," and once again she has vulnerabilities other candidates lack, including extremely high "unfavorables," as well as additional liabilities in 2016 she didn't have in 2008 --
some of her own making, some not."
More:
http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/seven-things-about-inevitability-hillary-you-probably-havent-thought-about/
The Penguin Joke
2 penguins on an ice flow.
1st Penguin says. "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo."
2nd penguin says. "What makes you think I'm not?"
America's Ongoing Rebellion for Fairness and Justice
Jim Hightower
April 29, 2014
The corporate Powers That Be keep thinking we'll stay hitched to their plow no matter how severely they lash us economically and kick us politically.
But, to borrow one of George W.'s convoluted phrases, they're badly "misunderestimating" America's workaday people.
As the Occupy Wall Street movement demonstrated, and as shown by the ongoing actions od fast-food workers and others who've been shunted into poverty-wage jobs, we Americans are innately rebellious....In fact, from the revolutionary Declaration of 1776 forward, Rebellious R Us!
Shays rebellion in the 1780s, strikes by women mill workers in the early 1800s, the Populist movement of the 1880s, and on into today's uprisings, we've never taken well to the moneyed powers grabbing more for themselves at our expense -- and now they are grabbing more than ever.
Wall Street elites, corporate profiteers, and inheritors of multi-billion-dollar fortunes are trying to divert our attention from their oligarchic greed by spending lots of money on PR campaigns, front groups, and politicians to tell us that "Big Government" is our problem.
I was born at night, but not last night!..The ones knocking down the middle class and holding down the poor today are the same elites, profiteers, and heirs.
The corporate media won't talk much about this reality, but a growing majority see it and are participating in a spreading rebellion against it...Because, after all, they are experiencing the abuse.
The great anthem by rocker Patti Smith pretty well sums up where we Americans are -- and where I think we're going.
"People have the power - to dream, to rule, to wrestle the world from fools."
Ordinary folks are awakening to the realization that the fools have seized power, and the folks are now making moves (and movements) to seize the fools by their short hairs and reclaim our dreams.
http://www.jimhightower.com/
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Home country: U.S.A.
Member since: Tue Sep 14, 2010, 03:05 PM
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