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In reply to the discussion: Did you hate, fear or dislike gay people at one time? [View all]TlalocW
(15,399 posts)When you're young and stupid and living in a small Kansas farming community, you make the disparaging remarks, but I also remember being taken aback when a classmate said something about homosexuality is an abomination in just a very venomous voice and thinking what an asshole he was. At a ballgame, I was talking to someone who was telling me about one of the players on the field, and he slipped and called him good looking then backtracked, making embarrassed jokes about it, and I thought, "Well, the guy is good-looking from what I know about what girls my age are looking for. What's the deal?"
Then my freshman year in college, I worked as an office assistant in the foreign language department with a guy who was, I think, a junior. My gaydar is horrible so you can literally be completely "flaming" (if I may use that term), and it's going to go right over my head, but he was pretty theatrical... Literally. I think he was a theater major. Anyway, the school paper and he got together to run an article about homosexuality, wherein he officially came out. Later that week, I was at a party and was sitting on a large ottoman talking to people and realized he was seated on the other end next to me, and I thought to myself, "Huh. For the first time I know 100% that someone is gay, and he's sitting next to me. How does that make me feel about him?" I thought about it and decided, "Doesn't change my opinion about him. He's still an asshole, but I don't care about who he fucks/loves." This was in 1991 by the way.
Later on in the decade, I was a co-worker and friend with a guy who while heterosexual had a lot of gay friends - he sets off their gaydar and usually becomes friends with guys who hit on him after telling them, "Sorry, I'm straight." Once we went over to the house of one of his gay friends. He had just moved in, and when we arrived he hooked his arm in mine and led me around showing me everything. I thought nothing of it, but my friend remarked to me later how surprised he was at my (non)reaction because he admitted to me that he probably would have freaked or shaken loose. I told him that either his friend was comfortable being who he was with me, or he was comfortable enough with me to do it to me as a joke so either way, I was flattered. (And if he was doing it as a joke, no way was I going to let him "win."
TlalocW