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Showing Original Post only (View all)Anyone else having a mental health crisis over this administration? [View all]
I've gotta admit, a big part of why I so desperately wanted Hillary to win was because I knew I wasn't mentally healthy enough for the level of persistent resistance that is required of us now. I was barely holding it together with anxiety and depression under Obama's presidency when life was "easy," and now every day is a constant battle just to keep the country's collective head above water. Not that I thought Hillary's presidency would be perfect, and I could just lay back knowing everything was puppies and rainbows in my government, but I could trust her to use good judgment and protect my and my fellow citizens' freedoms to her fullest potential.
I don't know what to do. I'm not just upset and angry; that would be normal. I feel like my entire body is shutting down. I can hardly think straight. I'm having nonstop migraines. I sleep through my alarm because I don't have the strength to force myself to get out of bed when I need to anymore. I tried going to a therapist last year post-election, and she dismissed my concerns as pretty trivial (I can't try finding another one now before anyone suggests it b/c mental health costs are higher under my new insurance plan that went into effect the beginning of this year). No one understands how much this election meant to me. It seems like it was "just an election" to everyone, including that therapist I went to, so there's no point trying even to talk to people about how it's affecting me. If anything, the second the election comes up, family and friends jump on an opportunity to tell me how terrible of a candidate Hillary was and how naive I was for supporting her, and I'm just thinking, "You have no idea how much her campaign meant to me, and you're shitting on one of the few things that gave me hope the past year to my face. Thanks."
I feel guilty every time I don't participate in a protest or don't read up on some new disastrous news story. Yet I feel like I can't participate in everything or even a lot of resistance efforts without literally dying. I felt like I was dying in the parking lot before I marched the day after the inauguration. I dunno, I just really feel like I won't survive fighting this shit for four years. I want to do my part in resisting normalizing, but my body and mind won't stop fighting against me. I knew this would happen if he won.