African American

Absolutely know what you're saying. It's something that all members of a minority group have to work through. We know we have targets on our backs and we go through anxious moments trying to figure out how to get through life without getting pushed off course by someone who thinks we are over-stepping our bounds. It's problematic because most of us figure out early that we'll get penalized if we just resort to repeating the same behavior that is standard for everyone else. If we do it long enough, eventually we get some kind of negative feedback.

I know it and I have to say that the only way that I have seen my way around these hurdles is to remain civil and always anticipate the worst out of people. Most of the time, people meet my expectations, but they can't dock you for being civil.

It does, however, create problems when I'm around friends or family members who are solidly in the white camp. For example, I was coming out of a movie and heading for the parking lot when my hubby saw a car in the parking lot that was the same model as the one he was considering for purchase. He walked to it with absolutely no hesitation in order to get a better look. I knew that his curiosity would include looking at the dashboard through the windows and I was dying.

Can you imagine what would happen to dark skinned person if they showed that much interest in a parked car that didn't belong to them?

I begged my hubby to get away from the car and let's just go. He expressed his annoyance, because, in his mind he wasn't doing anything wrong.

Of course he wasn't doing anything wrong. None of us are doing anything wrong. But some of us keep getting targeted, just the same.

Every day I am painfully aware that people in our country are being split into two groups. One is being taught how to form alliances in order to overreach their legal parameters, and the other one is just a target.

So, if you can figure out a way to break the pattern, you be sure to share it with the rest of us.

Meanwhile, until someone comes up with a better plan, it's probably a good idea to learn how to say heavy things without being heavy-handed.

BTW, it shocks me that the groups do not have better protections.