Sexual Assault Survivors Support

Last edited Sat Mar 2, 2024, 01:22 AM - Edit history (2)

In my experience, I prefer to avoid people not because people are toxic but because I almost never share most people’s interests or worldviews.
Certainly I get very freaked out in anything filled with lots of people. But I don’t know..

The world on tv or in social media looks horrible. But those are also other people’s lives. If one is not one of the worst off people in the world, you have the choice I suppose of avoiding annoying stuff to some extent.

I am not world police-so if people want to go around doing various things I consider drivel, it is fine as long as my home, street and life are not involved. I have no taste for policing other people. But they cannot have their hideous things going off in my home unless I am cool with it.

That is why group decisions alarm me. Look at what most people seem to be into..look at the planet. A bunch of overcrowded malls and other hellscapes. And that is what most people do for fun! Most people consider going to the mall fun not an ordeal..

I suppose I am a bit of a misanthrope ;-/. But at least I am not a bigot..it is pretty evenly spread across all groups ;-/..At least I strive to and pull off hating everyone equally ;-/
I have always felt a bit apologetic about never having been able to pull off liking our own species more. But well..we do make it pretty hard.

I am not a nutter-it is not as if I am the Unabomber. I can pull off seeming normal enough at a distance ;-/. It is just that our overcrowded world always alarms me. It is not entirely a political thing. I like Nicholas Carr’s writing and he is certainly more conservative than I am.

Long before I read Zuboff, maybe I instinctively felt that far away from academic science or medicine, it would be a bad idea if industrial giants have too much sway and without much public debate. I still feel that way.
Otoh I am not a very dynamic person so I don’t want to be in public debates directly. I figure Candide’s “tend your own garden” is likelier to be my preference where people don’t aggressively encroach looking for some shit to stir up..”sleuthing” or something really sad like that.

I don’t really have any problems with the non profit sciences and that is really my path. Or something else. Shrug..

These days if security is poor enough, it would be trivial for a “white hat” or “black hat” to find one’s location even if one posts anonymously on the net. So that is why it is important that people with access to stuff get that it is stalking to hunt for people’s locations and show up at their houses to see if people are bots or humans etc. That is not a game..that is just a sign that databases are leaky to the point of being ransomware.
But well one has to throw out such drivel and carry on.
Upto a point the rather dystopian world of 2024 has this much in common with the world before tech regulation (as I see it) lagged even other poorly regulated areas..that you still have the choice of ignoring stuff that cannot encroach beyond a point.

Otoh I have mixed feelings..I suppose I don’t really have many fascistic leanings so I prefer to deal with people who are better than this at self policing. I have always felt that large corporations etc should be regulated but human individuals should be trusted to self regulate where the whetting is not so poor that people are completely clueless. I wish people would learn and not repeat mistakes. It is all I aspire to..

For instance I have worked on publically funded research in the US. So that makes me answerable to something like the ORI. That is legit. I would never object to the ORI. But anything or anyone else would definitely need to answer some questions themselves before piling on. As anyone in a democracy knows, no one is above rules. But if you have questions about people’s mental health etc., that is getting dicey.

I am as sane as anyone else..but well I am short tempered and when I am stuck in my work to begin with and then everything becomes all annoying best case and creepy worst case..I mean honestly..

I was never a very good scientist. But I am starting to think that on the whole my people skills are significantly worse than even my science skills 🙄.

I sometimes think I should just spare any human eyes the horrifying spectacle of “jfz9580m tries to pass for a normal person with normal views” 🙄 and just stay offline.i am entirely nonviolent and not prone to self or other harm. I just like space. Not space exploration..distance from most people except close friends. I used to be able to pass for reasonably normal-only people who knew me very well would know I am eccentric. But these days and post pandemic our lives are all too messily intertwined. I don’t like it…

I think that “if you have nothing to hide” stuff is such bs. Even if you have nothing malicious to hide, you may have a fugly, inelegant and unbeautiful life and not precisely be self loathing so much as not so daft as to not get that it is a reality show headspace to put all your dysfunction on display.
I cannot claim to be one of those souls of such refinement that even if I were doing something cool (mainly good work) I wouldn’t want people to know. Like most people I like being associated with good work or worthwhile things if I contributed. But no - I cannot see ever making a scene and a spectacle as something of any value in itself.

It is why I disapprove of that sort of stuff. But well I now understand the dynamics of these things. If you ignore it where the nuisance is not in your life, it will go away. And they are welcome to be annoying in their own spaces.