Help me! I'm stupid! [View all]

Please help me. I’m really stupid. The election is coming and I don’t know whether to vote for the guy who is going on trial for trying to conduct a coup against the U.S. or the guy who lowered the cost of pharmaceuticals for medicare patients. I’m just really stupid. I don’t know.

I’m super stupid. I might vote for the guy who suggested taking bleach might help fight COVID or the guy who expanded NATO and restored faith in American leadership among our allies. I’m stupid. I just don’t know.

I’m stupid in every sense of the word. Should I vote for the guy who said he was going to pass an infrastructure bill and never did in four years or the guy who passed a bipartisan infrastructure bill in under a year. You wouldn’t believe how stupid I am.

I don’t have words for how stupid I am. I don’t know if I should vote for the guy who’s been called “dumb” or a “moron” by numerous former staffers or the guy who passed the first gun safety legislation in 30 years. I’m stupid like the sun is hot.

It’s all so confusing. Or should I vote for Jill Stein? I’m stupid.