General Discussion

Confirming what everyone with eyes had already noticed years ago, a study commissioned by the British Government's Ministry of Culinary Obviousness concluded that so-called "organic" foods are four times more likely to appear blanched, tired, and generally ill-favored. A random sampling of 1,000 people across Britain found that "sallow" was the word most commonly chosen to describe organic produce, followed closely by "expensive."

Indeed, organic foods typically cost between 1.5 and 2 times more than equivalent non-organic foods.

"The whole thing's a ruse," noted Kirsten Smythe, a lead researcher in the study. "'Organic' simply means that the food contains carbon, and that describes nearly everything you're apt to eat, save perhaps an ice cube."

Nonetheless, researchers predicted that eager consumers will still happily pay much more for foods with little or no proven benefit beyond anecdotal testimony.

"I don't mind paying five pounds for an organic banana," said Nigel Sinclair, a London-based commodities broker, "as long as I feel as though I'm getting something more nutritious."

Curiously, sales of the dubious yet aggressively marketed produce have risen in the weeks since the release of the report. Further studies are planned to assess the impact of unpleasant facts upon the purchasing habits of people suspicious of such facts.