General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Are you planning to have children (procreate)? [View all]StevieM
(10,501 posts)First, until the baby is officially adopted the woman is not the birth mother. She is an expectant mother, and then she is the new mom. The baby being born is her baby--not yours. And she has every right to change her mind.
Second, if you are using an adoption agency, the chances that they will attempt to coerce the new mother, if they sense she is backing out, are somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 percent. The chances that they coerced her to begin with are also pretty high. This is a multi-billion dollar industry that only makes a profit if the adoption goes through. And agencies can be ruthless when trying to make certain an adoption doesn't fall apart.
Third, if you promise an open adoption, it would be wrong to back out after the papers were signed. The people who are most likely to get picked by a prospective birth mother are the ones who are most convincing that they want an open adoption. Sadly, the adoption often closes after the papers are signed and the birth mother has no recourse. The birth mother is then left with a broken heart, and devastated at the thought of never seeing her child again.
I understand that many people think of adoption as a noble institution. But there is a dark side to it....a very dark side.